STRUGGLING............[Dont know for how long]

Have I ever wondered that how many times I've faced a struggle with my innerself alias innerbeing or say soul-about the change in life!!There's a high probablity that that I might find my very own thoughts conflicting with with the thoughts that I'll possess later on.Well thats what life's all about-CHANGE.
What comes to my mind when I think of the word change?Family?Relationships?Career?N may be mundane things like food,movies,clothes,etc.Ofcourse,life has its own reseve of unexpected events,minor tussles,pain,misunderstandings and arguements.But then,unless we've experienced the pain, we cant truely enjoy the beauty of care,friendship,love n affection.
Relationships:We cannot live without them,can we?How many of us would like to live like a recluse?Imagining myself without anyone to depend upon,with no one depending on me,no love,no care and trust...that sends chills down my spine.Now I've acknowledged the fact that I was born alone,'ll live alone and die alone!Well...the word alone is not to be taken in literal terms...if we didn't have to face the struggles of life alone we'd never know our strenght n power......thats the beauty of lonliness-we face at times.
Questioning the unquestionable robs us of our peace of mind...conquering it gives the confidence to face everything with a smile and without restlessness.Now I wonder as to what is the cause of all my pains?Expectations????
Expectations:Expectations are the root cause of misery.Is it wrong to have expectations?Or is it wrong to give endless love n care?Well as far as I'm concerned neither of them can be termed as right or wrong,nevertheless a perfect balance has to be attained.Now comes-how many times have I done my job out of passion?-answer-everytime.How many times have I surrendered myself to others wishes?-answer-almost everytime.How my interets have changed in past few months?-answer-drastically.
The current constant struggle within me is---trying to answer those unansweres quetions,trying to convince myself to take that risk,trying to soothe those heartaches and trying to appreciate simple things in life!
Well I guess that its the time I learn the most valuable lesson of mylife.....without change life would be a smoothly paved,straight,flat road,safe and comfortable leading to nowhere also dull n utterly pointless.So I've decided NOT to accept everything n everyday as they come and also not to let anyone steal that smyle from my face.I've also learnt that no one worth my tears.And the biggest thing NO ONE is indispensible from me.
After a long self introspection n somehow convincing myself I guess I've just managed to verbalise my thoughts or say the struggle with the new change in my life.Now I wonder how many people on Earth think like me.......I'm sure there'll atleast be one person who'll agree with me!!!!!What say??